Childhood. Or rather, the memories I have of it. (parrt 1)

If I had to describe my childhood I would say these things:
Eventful.
Seasonal.
Imperfect.
Bright.

There was never a dull moment when I was growing up. I suppose that's how everyone's mind is. Just remembering the special events. But I remember more than most kids do, I think.

The farthest I can remember is being 4 years old. I remember the sunrise in the murky April sky over Salt Lake City, Utah. Everything was bright. Our new apartment was at garden level, but it was okay. My bed was bright white, KK's was bright pink. Later, though not too far into the future I would get my head stuck in the side of that bed. Our space would become ocupied by two more delicate beings, our cats, Gato (the siamese that belonged to KK, because at such an age you can still hold animals as your own) and Mow (the simple white cat who died of a heart disease after giving birth to TONS of kittens. Seriously. That cat would make octomom jealous.). I remember the day I was sick, and mom took me to work with her. On the way, we went to albertson's, and since it was close to valentine's day, they had some cute little stuffed animals out. Mom bought me one. I named him fluffy.

At age 5, I remember starting school at Crestview. I remember KK's crush, Crosby. And I remember my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Kennington. She wasn't nice. I suppose the fault of why I don't like autority lies on her shoulders. She was like Ursula, only fatter. I remember the day the firemen came to talk to us, and I made a fireman hat. Mom keeps a picture of that somewhere. Little me, with straight teeth and tangled hair, wearing a paper hat colored red. I remember saying goodbye to the kids in my class when we told them we were moving.

At age 6, I remember going to school at Mountain Shadows. I can't remeber my first grade teachers name. She wasn't as bad as Mrs. Kennington, but she wasn't nice either. I remember walking into the boy's bathrooms and the teacher showing us so we wouldn't be curious and want to go in later. I remember the first crush I ever really had. CF. He was the epitamy of cute to me in those days. (I just took the time to look him up on facebook. WEIRD). I  remember realizing that the seasons really did change. I remember my sisters best friend BBM. He was cute. I remember Kaileeth, whos name I use freely because there is no lastname in my memory for her. I remember the little mexican kid who used to hand out with us, Mikey. He was not cute. I remember the taking of this picture:

I wore those snowboots everyday. Fluffy was 2 in this picture. Young'n. My last memory of being 5 was hearing my mom and my grandpa fighting. Who knew that would be the main song on the playlist of my youth.

Being 6 doesn't have as many memories. There was Mrs. Dean. She was wonderful. She let us keep preying mantises in the class and she told us the truth. She was one of the only teachers I saw cry when the planes crashed on 9/11/02. She cried for hours. That day is burned into my memory. Walking onto the back playground, the one that the little kids could use, and Dillon (everyone called him lion) telling me that there were 2 plane crashes. I argued with him about it until we walked into class, and Mrs. Dean was crying. She was not just tearing up either. There were the big heavy sobs, the tears, and the sadden air about her to tell me that Dillion was telling the truth.

Being 7 was the worst. I'm pretty sure nothing good happened when I was seven years old. I was walking to the breadstore with my sister, and she was ahead of me. I was crossing the street when a car hit me. I was fine, but the paramedics still came. No bruises. My lucky day. I was walking back from RG's house when Mikey's dog attacked me. Her name was Baby, and she was anything but small. She chased me while I screamed. I still dont like pittbulls no matter how harmless they are. Mikey had just become my best friend, and he never spoke to me after that. We had kissed on the monkey bars in my backyard. My first kiss. With a mexican. KK and I were playing a game with some neighbor kids and I went inside to cut up and orange. I cut my finger open, and had to get it glued. Then I was playing in my backyard, and I fell off a metal swing set and and broke my arm.



I, Penstemon Koda, amd getting tired. So I will finish this instalment tomorrow after I send Paul home for the night. Goodnight.

life changed. More.

RA was not the best thing the happen to me. we were over pretty fast.
I also gave up 2 of those enimies, and gained a new one.
I was not in love with RA. I was in a strong form of lust. There is a differnce.
But I did gain a new story.

This story does not begin as some stories begin. This story begins in the heat of a battle.
BM, my new bestest friend (at the time) was dating the unfortunate EM. EM would have been an alright choice for BM, were he not such a controlling jerk.
On this particular day of the battle, EM was not being particularly terrible.
He might have been silently starting a civil war. (lack of capitalization is intentional. Pun intended. There is no such thing as a civil war. Wars are gruesom. Not civil).
Amongst the turmoil, I found myself staring into the eyes of the most dangerous thing I have ever known.
This is the first name I have mentioned. I am aware, and I altered it. His name is Paul. Yes, in the non-blog world, he and i do have alliteration-al names. But for now we will stick with Penstemon & Paul.
He isn't perfect, but he isn't in shambles. He isn't self righteous, but he isn't a pity party-er either.
Paul is my better half.
And at the moment where this story begins, I was looking into Paul's eyes in the back of his old bronco at the city park.
He said something.
And I looked down and shook my head.
Did he really just say that?
There is no way!
Did he really just ask me that?
The next words from him stumbled like a stream temporarily caught by a rock, gurgling forth from behind his lower lip.
"Is that a no?"
I looked into his easter-blue eyes.
"yes."
NO NO NO.
He did not just ask me to marry him, if that is what you are thinking. That hasn't happened yet. He asked me to be his girlfriend.
I was someone's something.
And I still am.
That night continued on.
Happy things happened.
My birthday, for example. He was there, watching as i blew out the candles.
We are, as the saying goes, attached at the hip.
I haven't gone a day without seeing him in over 3 weeks.
And March 25th will be the official day when my life as a high-school sweetheart begins.
BM and EM had a big, nasty ordeal.
She and I were fighting about things, And she had been mad at me all day. After school she asked to come with me and Paul to the store, and then she wanted a ride home. I was cool with it, but after how her attitude towards me had been all day, Paul was a little worried. When we got to the store, she stayed in the Bronco. That pissed me off pretty good. Paul and I continued inside. She waited. We brought out a friend of hers, TC, to see her, and she got out of the car. If words could kill, I would have been six feet under when she said "finally, a real friend comes". We let her go off with TC, trusting him to take her to our house. (She lived with me). Paul and I went to his house for a minute, then left over to home. Turns out BM decided to go to EM's house. I texted her a brief apology for the events that day. She said she was sorry too and that she would be home later. Paul and I went down into our theatre room and i started to feel like something was wrong. But I wasn't sure what it was. I  fell asleep with Paul on the couch, and awoke with a start when I heard my mom talking upstairs. I told Paul to wait where he was because there was no telling what was going on.
When I got upstairs, my mom's face was flushed and she told me that KK, my sister, was going to get BM. BM's grandmother had been waging daily wars with my poor mother and mom wanted BM to come home and call her. We tried calling BM, but there was no answer. We texted her and told her that we would be over soon to pick her up. Paul knows how terrible I am at directions, so he had my sister follow us over to EM's house. When we got there, EM's mom came over to the bronco and was all prickly when she asked why there were two cars. I explained, and she went inside to get BM. KK wanted to know what was going on, so she came up to the bronco and talked to us. Just about then, EM called KK and said BM would not be making it outside right now. To this, BM took the phone and told us she would be spending the night at someone's house so she could "catch up on homework". BM may be smart, but she never does any homework. This made everyone suspicious, and EM called Mom and told her that BM was, in fact, drunk as a skunk and unable to walk. A few minutes later, out stumbled BM with no shoes on. She got into the bronco first, then clamored into the van. Thats when the screaming started. First she said "he hurt me" and then came "i just wanted someone to help me". There was also the occasional "I'm bleeding" and the rare "they called it a rape drink". EM tried to explain, all through lies, and BM was rushed to the hospital by the Koda Clan.
Things haven't been good since then, but lets just say BM and EM, though required by law to split, are still together, and Paul is the love of my life.

Paul makes my heart sing.
I swear, nothing makes me happier than the sound of his sweet voice calling my name.
He is my Prince.
And I, His Princess.
And we are happy.
Who would have thought that my first boyfriend since SA and I'm happy.
Nah, I don't think that SA counts as a real relationship.
So that would mean he is my first real boyfriend since IO!!!
CRAZY?!?!!?!?!?!
yes. yes it is.
I'm not sure what the future holds now.
Maybe Paul and I will get married.
He moved the old tear ring from my casual hand onto my serious hand.
And sometimes when we go places, we pretend we are engaged.
Paul is not perfect, as I said before.
But nor am I.
He makes me happy
and I feel lucky to have him.
Maybe one day I will be Mrs. Paul.
Who knows.

penstemon & paul.

I don't know if we are soul mates.

but i do know that your are my best friend,

and the love of my life.

and thats what i know.

so this is penstemon koda. I love music, and i love Paul.


look up 2 songs
Perfect Two by auburn
&
The Last Night by Skillet

Thanks for reading.